Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
by LM Simpson
Summary: GlomScrooge oneshot. The Ducks have a sudden dinner guest. 'Hope he likes peanut butter and jelly.


A/N: As my GF once said, at least Scrooge has Donald to make sure he eats and stuff. Both Scrooge and Flinty need to eat, but Flintheart is probably more skin and bones compared to Scroogey. Eat you two! Especially Flinty.

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Scrooge sat down in his special spot at the table and licked his bill. "So Donald, what's for dinner tonight?"

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," he said. "With apples and milk. We're eating simple tonight."

"Fine with me!" Scrooge turned to one of the ducklings. "Huey, can you get an extra chair from somewhere?"

"Uh… sure, Unca Scrooge."

The boy ran his errand.

"Dewey, Louie, scoot a bit too."

"We have extra company coming?" Donald said.

"Didn't I tell you? I invited—"

Ding dong!

"Ah, there he is!"

"He?"

There was now a loud rapping at the door.

Huey returned with a desk chair from his bedroom. "Here's the chair, Unca Scrooge! Who's it for, by the way?"

All but Scrooge found out when the door was finally answered.

"Flintheart Glomgold!" Donald and the nephews exclaimed.

"In the flesh!" He came in, still limping from the injured ankle he received from Scrooge and his last adventure a week prior. His cane poked Donald's stomach. "I was told you had food?"

"Uh…" Donald stammered. "Yes! Yes we do! And it's ready right now! The kitchen's right there!"

"Why is he here?" Donald mouthed to Scrooge.

"Why do you care?" Scrooge mouthed back. "I invited him for a reason!"

Well, if there was a reason for Scrooge's biggest rival to come over, then fine. Now whether he'd find out over dinner was another matter.

Flintheart took his seat by Scrooge. The Afrikaner stared at the sandwich ingredients, a basket of apples, and a gallon of milk in the center of the table. "Eating fancy tonight, are we?"

"Not the fanciest, but still good to me!" Scrooge replied.

Flintheart grumbled.

Donald grabbed an extra set of plates and glass for the extra guest. Everyone else sat, said a little prayer.

"Amen!" Donald said. "Now Flintheart, how do you like your peanut butter and jelly?"

"Jelly?"

"Huh?"

"The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook says that 'jelly' is another word for gelatin around the world," Louie whispered.

"Oh! I uh, mean, jam!"

He hmmph'd. "_Surprise_ _me_."

Donald gulped.

"Make it like mine, nephew," Scrooge said.

Heavy on the peanut butter, light on the grape jelly, cut straight across instead of diagonally like the boys's. Got it.

Two plates clanked in front of the oldest ducks. Flintheart slowly poked a bony finger into the bread.

"Weird," he muttered.

"In what way?" Donald said.

"It's soft!"

"Used to it being hard as a rock, aren't ye?" Scrooge said.

"Even if I wasn't you American bread is weird," he said before taking the tiniest bite. Flintheart chewed. And chewed. Then chewed some more.

Finally a swallow. He shrugged. "Not bad. A bit rich."

"Like you!" The boys chimed in.

Flintheart grinned before taking a second bite.

The room filled with only the sounds of ducks feeding before Donald broke the ice.

"So, we heard you were invited, Flintheart?"

"Oh, I just noticed how skinny as a rail he was and let him come over while he was in town," Scrooge interrupted.

"It was free," Flintheart continued.

"Well, eat however you want," Donald said.

"We're ready for our apples Unca Donald," the boys said.

"Oh, we're having an extra course?" Flintheart said. "Very fancy, then!"

"Guests first," Donald told the boys before pushing the fruit basket in the center towards Flintheart and Scrooge.

"How is it that all of these apples aren't blemished?" Flintheart commented while inspecting yet another Red Delicious.

"I tell him he can get the bruised fruit for cheaper, but that boy never listens!" Scrooge declared, eyes closed and a finger pointing up.

"Listen to your uncle for once, boy!" Flintheart said with a point.

Donald grunted.

Finally he selected one. "Fresher than I'm used to," he said after the first bite. He said the same thing before drinking the milk. He then another glass, and then the rest of Huey, Dewey, and Louie's, when they were done and excused themselves from the table.

"Got anymore?" Flintheart asked Donald. He had a pronounced mustache on his bill and some milk dripping on his beard.

"You drank pretty much the whole jug," he replied, tilting the milk as much as possible to get the last drop inside of it.

Hmm. "Glad I took full advantage," he said to no one in particular.

"No you didn't," Scrooge said. He snatched the jug and shook it until the drop came out onto his hand, then licked it off. He grinned at Flintheart's frustration.

Donald began collecting the plates. "I can get started on the dishes if you two want to—"

"That'll be enough, Donald," Scrooge said with a "shoo" motion. "We'll talk in here. Private business, if you will."

Well. He supposed he wasn't welcome in the living room by the kitchen then, either. He could always wash the dishes later.

"Hope you enjoyed dinner, Flintheart and Uncle Scrooge," he said before departing.

"I know someone did!" Scrooge called back, looking at Flintheart.

They waited until Donald's steps and the creaking of the floor were faint.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Scrooge asked, a hand on the other's shoulder.

Flintheart shrugged. "Could've been worse, I suppose…. Although…"

"Hmm?"

"Did our first, ah, date have to be at your nephew's house?"

"Would you have rather ate at a restaurant?"

He shivered. "And spent money? Bah! Absolutely not! It's just y'know, awkward to have a date with some others in tow, you know?"

"You knew the price when I told you in the cave. Food at me nephew's. You need to get some food in ya, it's hard to enjoy hugging when you're only skin and bones! You need to take care of yourself! Especially if you want to try to best me!" Scrooge winked.

"Hmm, you're right. Where should we go? Your office or mine?"

"If we're going to my Money Bin I'm keeping you within my sights at all time. My office, and just my office. Got it?"

"Oh sure. But first…" He grabbed the jars of grape jelly and peanut butter as well as a couple apples into his arms, then looked around. "Is the pantry over there? I wonder what else is in here."


End file.
